THERE ARE

NO

HOPELESS

SITUATIONS;



ONLY

PEOPLE

WHO HAVE

GROWN

HOPELESS.

Someone always remembers you.
You are never as alone as you think you are.
Someone is glad that you are alive everyday.

Someone always thinks this way about you:

You are good-looking.
You are smart.
There is nothing about yourself you need to change.

It doesn't matter what mistakes you have made
or are making.
You have the potential.
You can turn your life around.

You are good enough.
You deserve the best.
You should never compromise for what you don't deserve.

Don't lose faith in yourself.
Don't let yourself down.
Never limit yourself.

Don't care for what
someone who doesn't love you
think about you.

The people who love you
know best about you
And this is how they will always think of you.

When I get bored-

I secretly imagine my funeral.

I imagine how it'll look like, who will be crying badly, who will be there, who will be huddling together, and what people will say about me.

I know who won't show up and who it wouldn't make a difference even if they did.

I think about the people I may seriously consider haunting when I die.

I also think I know what my mother will say when I'm gone. (I always imagine I die before her. Because it's really important that she regret some things. I mean some..)

When I get to this part of my funeral, I imagine if it was her funeral instead, and wonder if I will really regret some things. I mean some..

Somebody said, the greatest irony of life is that nobody gets out of it alive. Yes so true, so why do we have to make life hell for the rest of us who aren't there yet?!

I imagine if I killed myself, what I would write in my suicide note.

When I get to this in my mind, I realise I can't kill myself. (Not that I terribly want to. But if I had to.)

I don't have anything poetic to say about my life! Shit.

And there goes my bus stop, and now I have to wake up and walk all the way backwards.

God, I can be so weird. I don't make a concious effort, it just creeps up. I wonder what else people think about on the bus.

Sometimes, there is this period in your life when you feel abandoned. Sometimes you embrace it, because it is intimate in a sort of way, darkness romanticized for you to tolerate it. Apathy is nothing more than knowing that everything transcends, and no emotion or circumstance will not lift eventually. Either you leave it, or wait it out long enough and it will leave you. Maybe you die, and that is the release. So you look on ahead in your life with apathy, that is shunned because people think that you have no more compassion and are entirely self-centered- but how can that be when it's apathy for yourself? So you move on every day, through the minutes and hours, carrying the child of apathy around. We are a walking tide of people who rise and fall, rise and fall, and eventually ebb away into nothingness. Life is as it is- a long walk through the desert. You feel forsaken; you are forsaken. Was there anyone watching whether you would trip in the first place? How is it you ran forward and never looked back to think if anyone would catch you from behind? But you ran with willful rebellion, and you hit the rock and fell. Now you're stuck between a rock and a hard place, and there is no difference between left and right, looking on ahead with dryness, looking behind with nostalgia.

Someday it will lift.

KEEP MOVING FORWARD.

That's the theme of 'Meet the Robinsons', that I watched on the airplane a few months back. I love the show. It's the best animation I've ever watched, and I can remember every scene. I don't understand the fascination with Finding Nemo, just some lost fish lah. Nothing beats THIS ONE. So cute, fresh, inspiring and memorable. And I've got those 3 words stuck in my head since then.

I have a thing for pictures, movies and songs that keeps urging you to MOVE ON. That inspires without being too emo, like the chinese word 'sa tuo'. Like Move Along by The All American Rejects. I think it's because I have a tendency to wallow in self-pity a lot. I get nostalgic about things that happened, things I could have made better, but somehow what I have now and will have in the future will always be better. Don't ask me why, but it's a track record and pattern. I totally believe the adage that everything gets better as time passes.

Wounds heal, you mature, things that don't last fall away, even friends get closer, and you become a better person. You'll always be a better person than the 'you' 6 months ago, 3 years ago, etc'.

The darkest hour comes just before the dawn and by then you'd have already evolved. We are much more brilliant than we know.

“For better or for worse, we are human.”

It’s not an excessively fabulous movie, but somehow ‘The Invasion’ starring Nicole Kidman is still stuck in my head. I’m not attracted to the mother-son storyline, rather the chilling truth that what makes us human is what makes us both brutal and kind. You can’t do away with one without killing the other, they are inexplicably inseparable. You can’t kill emotions because obliterating the bad destroys every other good thing that comes along with it.

You can’t expect a perfect humanity because humanity alone cannot be humanity without its atrocities and it’s inclination to make mistakes, deliberately or accidental.

So you see it makes me think of how funny it is that we judge people when we all have that duo nature of good and bad. Do we have the right? it’s like a group of monkeys grouping together deliberating how to treat another monkey who’s gone against rules they all sat together and decided was the ‘right’, ‘ethical’ or ‘religious’ thing to do. The same judge, the same jury, the same passer-by, all could have done the same thing as the accused when put in that position. They’re all monkeys, all equally vulnerable in the same ways.

We could have been born with another skin colour, another set of beliefs, another sex, another personality type, been fat, scrawny, pimply, gay. We could have been in a position where we felt the best thing to do was steal, abuse, or something stupid. But we never think to put ourselves in another’s shoes. We never look beyond our first impulse or the popular gossip or our own noses. We all tend to want to feel we’re better off, and a million insecurities, deep-seated emotions fight our consciousness to the choices of discriminajavascript:void(0)
Publish Posttion, hurt and hostility we make.

But if we took away all emotions- wouldn’t that solve the problem?

Oh wait, then we wouldn’t be human.

American Heritage Dictionary of Idioms:

Misery loves company:

Fellow sufferers make unhappiness easier to bear

resilience

re·sil·ience [ri zíllyənss]
or re·sil·ien·cy [ri zíllyənssee]
n
1. speedy recovery from problems: the ability to recover quickly from setbacks
2. elasticity: the ability of matter to spring back quickly into shape after being bent, stretched, or deformed

Microsoft® Encarta® Reference Library 2003. © 1993-2002 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

----------------------

What I want is resilience. Not a god, a material comfort or security, but the strength to survive the harshest weather conditions, a strength that thrives upon adversity and turns it into resolution. The amazing resilience of the human soul is shown in our ability to transcend years of wars, political campaigns, philosophy and thought reforms, poverty, famine, economic strife, diseases and still manage to live on to the monotony of the comfort of today.

We all have the freedom of choice. We are all Gods of our own lives.

We all have the ability to create and destroy, to dictate the success and failures of our lives. Even if life is unfair we can make it fair for ourselves. Even if justice, God, and every beautiful philosophy and idea fails us, we can still decide to live within the confines of our own mind, and turn our lives into where nobody can touch the world we build up.

You can do anything you want. The God and the Devil- both of them are you. The paradox is we are both our greatest friend and worst enemy.

We are both the hand that writes and the hand that seals our own fate.

Life is a game of decisions.

Between this person and that, this commitment and that, and this path of education and that- Everything isn't made up of choices; it is made up of decisions. Because you don't have a 'choice', you have to make a decision.

There are no 'mistakes'- 'mistakes' are a perception caused by your culture, your society, the 'world' in which you have chosen to live and abide by. But in another 'world', in another society, that mistake could be nothing more than just another decision.

If we could only learn to respect each other's decisions- and know that we all have a right to it. Our lives are all made up of the decisions that we have made. Why condemn others or elevate yourself? There is nothing 'right' or 'wrong' about a decision, nothing 'bad' or 'good'- there are just different decisions.

All of us have pain.

All of us have to deal with pain.

Some of us eat everything, some of us eat nothing, and some of us eat and then throw up everything or something. Some of us face it squarely, some of us run away. Some of us hurt others, some of us hurt ourselves. Some of us shout, and some of us keep silent. Some of us let the world know, some of us don’t have a soul. Some of us find solace in music, in movies, in alcohol, in late nights, in blogging. Some of us are reckless with our lives. Either way we survive with other distractions, finding every possible anaesthetic available to numb the pain.

So don’t tell me I’ve changed, because I don’t even know who I really am to become something you think I’ve become.

So don’t tell me what you think I’m supposed to do, because this is my life.

I’ll take responsibility for whichever way I choose to deal with the pain that comes my way the same way anyone of us does.

I can't differentiate people's intentions anymore.

I don't know whether there is even one person in this world that really has an ounce of sincerity at all. Or rather, should I say, I don't know whether love is ever pure.

Can we blame people for learning to be selfish, when there is no one selfless enough to love them? Can we blame people for loving others out of selfish intentions, when otherwise there is no practical reason or would be too dangerously sacrificial to love them? Can it still be called love when it's this way?

But we have been calling it "love".

I don't know how much sincerity is priced in this world when a word like "love" has become so cheap, it's given and taken with the ease of a prostitute with legs apart.

So I guess we can leave people behind with ease because we can jump into new relationships again. It’s easy, if we're willing enough, and so is the other party, to become used to another's presence in your life and subsequently welcome that change. You can love anybody, if you choose to. Love is not so much about that chemistry, ka-ka-boom, and really more about accommodation, giving in, being responsible and consciously making things work, and everyday making a decision to stick it through because it can be so easy to break it off- one word, a wrong tone, a bad mood, some slight difference in opinion and everything that's built up can come crumbling down. All relationships are that fragile. I don't know if I wish it were easier. We know it's hard- so why do we jump in anyway?

The short-term euphoria is worth the long-term hard work.

We all live for that one moment of joy.

Don't say that people fail us and we fail people, therefore mistakes should be condoned.

Yes, we fail each other. That doesn't defeat the purpose of a judicial system. We all have to face the consequences of our actions regardless of how fallible we are.

Because you can fail doesn't make it right when you do.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Why do we bother with other people?

We could be very happy living in our own world. Yes, you don't have to interfere with mine and I don't have to get into yours. Occasionally we could make the unpleasant awkward moment when we accidentally get involved with each other. But no, we're born into a family, picked and placed into it. No, we're given a conscience and a heart. No, we learn to feel lonely, and we learn to need people to love us.

We pry open people's hands and give them the right to slaughter us with any word, manipulative look or mind games they prefer- Just because we choose to care and we want them to love us. While it'd be very nice if it actually benefited you once in a while, the fact is that it rarely does. You take in the crap. You witness the ugly. You get taken advantage of. And in that process, you become someone you didn't know you were, and do things you didn't know you were capable of.

Just a little bit of love.

Why is it so hard to love or be loved?